SAYING "NO" - PART DEUX

Well, my latest novel has been sent to the publisher and now work begins on the next one. I have two months to write it – during the holidays! So, how do I handle the pressure? Simple. I don’t. I believe I’m fulfilling the call on my life and that God will give me whatever I need to complete it. Am I perfect in this area? No, wish I was. But at least I know what to aim for. The Bible tells us over and over not to worry or fret. And that without faith it’s impossible to please God. So what are my options? Hmmmm. There are none. So, I purpose in my heart to enjoy my writing, and I believe everything will turn out all right. Does this mean I can just sit back and watch TV all day? No, it means I have to do my part. To strive for excellence. But it’s also my job to make sure I’m resting in His promise to complete that which concerns me. I see too many authors straining under incredible stress, even unhappy with their writing life. I don’t intend to be one of them. I try to thank God every day for giving me the best job in the world, and if I start to feel stressed, I work to change my attitude. However, there is another aspect to being able to walk out your calling in peace and contentment. It has to do with your ability to say “no.” We’ve looked at the guilt that can come at us when we say "no" to activities at church. Now, let’s look at a tough subject: our friends.

Although a lot of people think being an author is fun and glamorous, it's not. It's hard work and requires a great deal of discipline. Readers may think we’re fighting off friends and fans with a stick. But it’s not true. To meet my writing goals, I have very little time for outside social functions. For the most part, my closest friends are the people I work with through Wichita Homebound Outreach, a volunteer organization I’m part of. We do monthly events for low-income seniors who live in congregate housing. And everyone in the group knows there are times I won’t be able to show up to an event or run a meeting. Asking someone else to help lead this group has helped. But even with this assistance, sometimes I still have to say “no.” Thank God for friends who understand. Now, what about other friends who want to have lunch, go out to a social event, or even call me on the phone? This is where it can get touchy.

It’s hard to say “no” to friends, and it’s even harder to develop close relationships when you don’t have much time to spend with people. Again, I’m blessed in this area because my friends understand. One long time friend, Leslie, sees me once every few months. Yet every time we get together, it’s like we just saw each other the day before. This is a divine connection. A God inspired friendship. I have a few of those. Do I take them for granted? Yes. This is one area of my life I’m working on. What’s the answer? I have some friends I used to work with, and we get together for lunch once a month. This gives me time to catch up. Works great for us. I’m working on a plan to have lunch out a least once a month with other friends on an individual basis. At least it will keep me in touch. Other ways to keep the fires of friendship burning? Emails, Facebook, and even an occasional greeting card can help. As I type this I realize I can come up higher in this area as well.

Let's talk phone calls. DNC. Do not call a busy author. I realize this isn’t true of everyone, but I share this feeling with many, many other authors. Why? Because I could be writing. Because if I’m not writing I might be trying to spend time with my husband. I'm on a tight schedule, and I can't possibly schedule a sudden phone call. Email me, but don’t call. Or email me with a request to call. For the most part, if you call, you will get voice mail. I’ll call you back when I can. I know this sounds harsh. Don’t get offended. Please.

Now, since handling friendships is an area I’m still working on, let’s see what ideas you have! Once again, I’ll draw a winner from the suggestions. This time, a signed copy of Simple Secrets AND a signed copy of Simple Deceit. Just in time for Christmas! Go for it…(S)